Let's be honest here, dudes. We're totally screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We procrastinate. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and stopped making excuses?

“This One's About Getting It On"

You guys know about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. No space for pussies here, only those who want it all. We're talking about getting dirty and feeling every fiber of the experience.

• Forget that boring stuff you’ve been doing.
• Here's where the real excitement is.
• Get what you deserve: a wild, powerful trip.

You're not demanding. We’re just offering you the reality.

Guys: Dude Fuck You know Immediately Now

Look, I'm not Messing around. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Action. Don't Screw around with Chat, just Get in there already. I'm Ready and waiting for you to Get down and dirty.

Man up, I know you want to.

Seriously! Those Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Have It Out With Me Sexually

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Read a Room. I've been trying to Send Signals, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyCreepy.

• I Really Need To Get a Restraining Order.
• For Real| This is getting Out of Hand.

Honestly, I just want to Live My Life in Quiet! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's Get Hell Lit

Tonight, we're gonna make website it rain. I'm talking about a legendary sesh. We gotta raise hell and live it up. I've got {a playlist on fire|some banging tunes that will make you lose your mind.

We're taking over the place all night long. So, are you ready to get down??

Let's make this a story we tell for years.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Liquor is the answer to all problems.
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.